Archive for February, 2007

Funny Stuff

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountain pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, Why not?” The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photo shop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.” “That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?” The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

You’re a U.S. Congressman”, says the cowboy.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about cows…this is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog!


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Gavin made a funny!

Sometimes, kids say the funniest things. Today Gavin did, and I just have to share it.
I went to the dentist this morning to get some fillings, and my mom was babysitting. The dentist told me I would need to get a crown on one of my teeth. When I came home, Gavin was sitting at the table eating lunch. He asked for another hot dog, and was told that it needed to be cooked, so it would be just a minute. I was telling my mom about the dentist visit, and said “apparently I’m going to need another crown.” Well, Gavin replies, “apparently, I’m going to need another hot dog.” It was done with such seriousness. Pretty funny!

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The poor baby puppy

Back in January, I told you that we got a new puppy. It’s been almost a month now, and our poor little puppy still has no name. With our other pups, we have a Star Wars theme going on. We’ve got Mace, Leia, and Chewy. But this one has been hard to name. Nothing seems to fit him. We’ve tried Vader, Worf (from Star Trek: TNG), and a few others, but nothing has worked so far. We’ve got to come up with something soon, or he’s just going to be called Baby Puppy. My latest suggestion is R2, but we’re not sure how Adam feels about it yet.

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While listening to Rush today, he read an e-mail he got from one of the US troops that had served in Iraq. I thought it was so good, I wanted to post it here.

Hey Rush,

I am scratching my head here. None of this makes any sense…but I wonder what you think about all of this…

The national news media shows lots of our American servicemen and women dying over there in Iraq and getting killed, helicopters being shot down, roadside bombs going off…etc…etc. Yet, when you are there, when you work with Americans and Iraqis who are actively engaged in re-building the country, who are out going after the enemy…there’s this ever-present sense of optimism, this prevailing upbeat mood of doing good. Just go talk to the wounded servicemen at Brooks or Bethesda. [RUSH: And I have. He’s right.] They’ll tell you the same. Likewise, the Iraqi gentlemen (civilians) I worked with were excited about their economic prospects. They were eager for their families to experience a better life than the life they had under a totalitarian regime.

Rush, there’s an upbeat mood out there in Iraq. The country and its new democracy are moving forward. And the enemy hates it.

On the subject of “civil war” or “civil strife” in Iraq…

From what we can tell…there’s no “civil war” or “civil strife” as the news media puts it. The terrorists are coming from outside the country and killing civilians – as many as possible – to gain a foothold in Iraq. And they play this stuff on TV to make us sick. It’s working. We are getting sick, but Iraq is getting strong. If there really is civil strife in the country…then WHY don’t WE hear statements in the news about Shia leaders taking responsibility for Sunni killings, and vice-versa? WHY? This is why: Because they aren’t doing that Rush! THAT’S WHY we NEVER hear news reports from the so-called “civil strife” combatants themselves. Because there aren’t any. The IRAQIS are trying to build-up their country and make it work. MEANWHILE the enemy comes and kills everyone they can, and they run away from the scene (or die in the blast themselves).

One more thought…

I hate doing math, but think about this…

Rush…there’s anywhere from 500 to 1,000 road vehicle convoys per day in the country of Iraq. One or three of these vehicle convoys (at most) get hit by an IED each day, which destroys maybe one or two vehicles. Most convoys have anywhere from 20 to 100 vehicles. NOW, what are your odds (e.g. CNN reporter) of being tagged by an IED????

In Summary…

I remain confused, amazed, and dumbfounded by the news media view on the war. And yet Americans are buying it. WHY??? How can we believe only one side of the story without seeing the whole picture, the whole story as it unfolds? Does ANYONE really know (other than those who are there) what’s REALLY happening in Iraq??? Is there any chance of getting any of this news reporting being done right???

America is doing good things over there. Our troops are awesome. They are an inspiration, a model of courage and of selfless patriotism. Why don’t people back home trust them?

Mega Dittos Rush.

Very Respectfully,


Now, why can’t the liberals, who are so invested in defeat, get this? We are doing good over there. It’s not a hopeless cause. Failure is not guaranteed. Why can’t the media report things like this? You know the reason there is such a high dissaproval rating for this administration, and for the war? It’s because the most people only get their news from the evening news casts on one of the major stations. The mainstream media is so liberal, they don’t report the positive things, they only show the negative things over and over. It’s purely pushing the liberal agenda. How can people support the war, when all they see about it is so negative. If the majority of the public saw the positive things (which are many), the public sentiment towards the war would change.

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I was listening to Rush this morning in the car, when he went on comercial. So, I decided to flip over to NPR, just to see what they were saying on their State of Nevada show. They were getting ready to have Senator Harry Reid on. Now, let us review, I do not like Harry Reid. They asked for those who would like to ask him a question to please call in. I thought to my self, “Now’s my chance!” So, I jumped on the phone and was actually the first call. I was very nice and polite, even though I wanted to yell and tell him what I really thought. I figured I could probably accomplish more being polite. I asked him if he thought these non-binding resolutions in the House and Senate would demoralize the troops, as the generals on the ground believed they would. His response was that it wasn’t true that the generals thought it would demoralize the troops because just this last week the generals said the troops were fine and that it wasn’t effecting them. He also said that Bob Gates has said the same thing. Of course, he didn’t really answer my question, about what he personally thought, but I never really expected him to. I didn’t get the chance to counter him. But then, even though my call had ended, and I knew I didn’t really want to hear Harry Reid, I just couldn’t change the station. Just like one of those fishing shows, I just couldn’t turn it off. So, I went on listening to his bologna. He talked about how they support the troops, but not the war (which I don’t believe is possible.) He also talked about how this is just the begining, and more legislation is on the way, with regards to Iraq. He said that they (the Dems) are supporting the troops, and it’s actually those that oppose the Dems that aren’t supporting the troops. Now, that just made me angry. He continued to say a bunch of rediculous stuff, of course being egged on by the host. It was extremely frustrating, and I still can’t figure out why I was listening to it! After I listened to Hannity this afternoon, I felt much better, though.

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Yes, it’s true, and I’m very excited about it! Now I’ve got to get my Romney in ’08 bumper sticker and yard sign! I love his background, and his positions on the issues. He’s my top choice for President. The challenge he’s facing, in my opinion, is that he’s not as well known nationally as Giuliani, but he’s much more of a conservative on the social issues. (If only we could get another Reagan!) My fear is that he doesn’t have what it’s going to take to defeat Hillary and the democrats. I think Giuliani does. I’m all about whatever it takes to keep Hillary out of the White House! (Why do people like her anyway? What has she done that makes her qualified for the position? Go ahead, ask a liberal, I bet they don’t really have an answer.) Anyhow, I’m excited about Romney!

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So a couple months ago, a bunch of us sat around discussing the possibility of negotiating with North Korea and Iran. Adam, having recently listened to a series on negotiation, claimed that you can negotiate with anyone. The rest of us maintained that you cannot negotiate with someone that only wants your utter annihilation, like Iran. While I stand by that statement, I must admit that negotiation was possible with North Korea. (However, they weren’t after our utter destruction like Iran is.) As a result of the six-party talks, North Korea is taking the first steps toward disarmament. So, it appears that Adam was right, with respect to North Korea; a fact that he pointed out to me earlier. 🙂 (I’d also like to point out that the six-party talks worked with North Korea. This was Bush’s plan. While others wanted to talk to North Korea unilaterally, he stuck by his guns and knew the right thing to do. Let’s see the liberal media report that. Bush was right!) However, it remains to be seen if North Korea will keep with what they have promised.

I maintain, however, that there will be absolutely no negotiating with Iran or Syria. While these countries may claim to want to negotiate, they are only interesting in what will give them what they want. They aren’t there to negotiate, just to watch others fold. I believe it would be a grave mistake to try to negotiate with either of these two countries, and actually expect them to be true to their word.

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