Posts Tagged ‘Funny’

Duh moment of the week

So last night we got Logan, Gavin, and Daphne in bed, and then Genevie and I headed out to the grocery store, while Adam stayed home with everyone else. I love doing my grocery shopping around 7 or 8 at night, because the store is usually not crowded. Anyway, we went in and filled up the cart, and then went up to the checkout. When I got up there, I looked down into my bag and realized I had forgotten my wallet at home! Doh! It was pretty frustrating, but I couldn’t help but laugh. At least I realized before she started to ring everything up. Oh well, what are ya gonna do?

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Funny Stuff

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountain pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, Why not?” The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photo shop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.” “That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?” The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

You’re a U.S. Congressman”, says the cowboy.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about cows…this is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog!

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Gavin made a funny!

Sometimes, kids say the funniest things. Today Gavin did, and I just have to share it.
I went to the dentist this morning to get some fillings, and my mom was babysitting. The dentist told me I would need to get a crown on one of my teeth. When I came home, Gavin was sitting at the table eating lunch. He asked for another hot dog, and was told that it needed to be cooked, so it would be just a minute. I was telling my mom about the dentist visit, and said “apparently I’m going to need another crown.” Well, Gavin replies, “apparently, I’m going to need another hot dog.” It was done with such seriousness. Pretty funny!

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